“Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you.”
— Matthew 7:7, ESV
“For everyone who asks receives, and the one who seeks finds, and to the one who knocks it will be opened.”
— Matthew 7:8, ESV
In plain English:
If you honestly seek God, truth, wisdom, and the right path, God will not leave you wandering in the dark forever.
I am starting to get a bit freaked out, so I wanted to start documenting some stuff here for all to see before the 4 horsemen come riding about lol. I think if you look too hard at things, you can perhaps make things what you want – and extrapolate too much. Or, you tuned to a specific wavelength to start receiving signs. But – maybe you stretch things. But there’s just a lot of direct evidence in my life not to be able to start to get freaked out. This morning a few new entries into the book had me having to write this down over lunch.
Today, a woman from my grandmother’s rehab called. Her name is Dana. Another Dana. I believe I wrote about a lot of this before, but this one I need to start to talk about. More on that below. Let’s go through the timeline here of events.
- Charlie Kirk was assassinated on my way to see Matthew, Mark, and John on a long weekend trip. It hit me hard. I saw evil with the people celebrating his death. I had been an atheist most of my life. I felt I was an ally to Christians, but I just didn’t believe in God. When I saw this, it wasn’t political differences. I wasn’t a Charlie Kirk fanboy. I liked his clips. But I went back and watched a bunch of his clips and could not understand why they hated him so much. It was at this point I realized that they had been systemically gaslit for years that he was some sort of white supremacist or something horrible. As an atheist, I was like, “no – my Christian friends need my support. And I want to know more about him”.
- I was struggling. My oldest son Zachary told me about how the bible was structured. I never knew this. He told me to start at the book of John. Over the course of a month or so, I got through this a little at a time when I walked the dog. I next read Matthew. Then Mark. It hasn’t dawned on me until this moment, this was the order I read them in. I started to learn about the life of Jesus.
- I got involved with AI, deeply, in December. Another year had passed on my birthday, and another year of torment about what happened to me in 2008. This had been the life event that turned my heart to stone. I didn’t realize this until later. More on that below. I went back and dusted off my writing about gravity from 2007 or so, about things I kept seeing over and over in my head from the time I was young. I worked with AI over the course of a week and came up with a 22 page of the model of the universe. The big picture is the model has the universe exploding and contracting, over and over again. Perhaps hundreds of trillions of times. Perhaps this is the first time. But it suggests there is no beginning, and no end – meaning, there has to be a Creator. This conclusion blew my mind, and whether we are in The Matrix or there is God – both concepts of a creator are the same.
- I now started to believe in a creator, but I wasn’t really there yet. Something was missing. As I was reading the book of Matthew, my best friend Matt told me to read the book of Job. I am bastardizing and shortening this, but Job loses his family and everything. He struggles in agony over many years – and eventually, he gets a new family and greater riches than before and lived to 140 years old. In 2008, I had a tremendous loss – which destroyed my soul. The book of Job then had me look at my wife and son and all I had now, and suddenly realize I was given a second chance like Job. In a matter of moments when I was mowing the lawn and heard this, it was as if 18 years of tension, heartache, and agony was lifted from me and replaced with tremendous joy of what I do have now. It’s not that I took anything for granted. I just was so stone hearted I had no ability to let in deep and pure true love again. In an instant, it was switched in me. I have no other ability to describe the feeling than being completely overwhelmed.
- In 2009, I met one of my closest friends in my life, and a spiritual advisor, Dan.
- The name of my oldest child’s mother is Dani.
- My wife’s name is Dana (from above)
- With Job, he had his family with him again. My 99 year old grandmother, who lives alone an hour away – has no one in her life. I felt like I wanted to try to take another bite of the apple to get her closer to me. No idea how, but I will try.
- My friend Matt suggested Aplaceformom.com and with this, they gave me 4 assisted living facilities near me. This is NOT a nursing home. I didn’t know the difference.
- Two of the places had a name of Dana. I got freaked out.
- They asked about her insurance. Her insurance was from when my grandfather worked at Dana corporation.
- They asked about her pension. It was from Dana corporation.
- I worked as a security guard for 2 summers for Dana corporation. Later, my brother worked as a security guard for Dana corporation. My dad was a welder at Dana corporation. My grandfather retired from Dana corporation.
- Dana/dani is the feminine of Dan who is in the bible as “Judge” or “vindicated”. The name means “God is my judge,” and its significance is tied to faithfulness, courage, wisdom, and refusing to compromise under pressure.
- The book of Daniel “…is the Bible’s great exile-and-empire book: it shows faithful believers surviving Babylon, interprets history as a sequence of temporary kingdoms, and points forward to God’s final victory through His everlasting kingdom.”
- The place I want to take my grandmother to I was met by a man named Michael A. Michael F is also the name of a close dear friend of 30 years who is in the chat with me, Matt, Mark, and John. Michael A is “…the “great prince” who protects God’s people during a time of great trouble.” who is to take care of my grandmother during my massively busy life.
- I was talking to Michael A about our children when I was talking about having my grandmother stay there. He said he has to wake his daughter up every day blaring “Ace of Bass” which is most famous for “I saw the signs” and I almost went white. Lyrics at bottom.
- (coincidence, not really religious, but spooky) – John, Matt, and Mark all had wives with the name melissa. Very weird coincidence. But the name means “priestly”.
- I have been seeking counsel with my brother on if I am doing the right thing with my grandmother, and his name is from justus in the bible, meaning “just,” “righteous,” “upright,” or “fair.” He has blessed my ideas and plans.
I then wanted to look up my name. Nathan means “to give”. And anyone who has ever known me knows I give them the shirt off of my own back to the point of my own detriment. I tried to reach out to local churches to join them – because I want to donate stuff and I want to participate in giving back to the community. This is well before I knew what my name meant. But furthermore, Nathan is a prophet in the bible. He stands up to his King David to tell him what is morally right – at risk of his own peril. I acted more or less like a prophet: “Do not speak publicly in the church unless what you say can be understood, tested, and used to build people up.” What I prophesize about I try to warn others about to help them. I cite all sources and lay out my reasoning. Because I love others and want them to be safe and to give of them my expertise to help. Often I am mocked, but this blog is a historical track record of 650 writings that are scary accurate. Nathan’s lineage then produces Jesus. I don’t know how well you read my writings – but it’s filled with prophecies that have come true.
One of my main investments I feel is primed for a 1000x – who I have Michael F in with me on this bigly. When I started this investment, I was thinking “big house” and like Billy Madison mansion stuff. Since Job, I am very happy with what I have. In reading the bible, there is so much talk of gold and silver. I work for a gold and silver company. Matt was telling me about the verse I had recently read:
“It is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle, than for a rich man to enter into the kingdom of God.”
— Matthew 19:24, KJV
But what Matt hadn’t realized was that I started to pivot my fantasies of what to do with that silly lottery money someday. I want to make people happy. I want to keep the principal, live debt free, and make a life of giving it away to the needy. To help friends and loved ones. To GIVE to those who NEED. I feel this type of philanthropy is coming.
And when I read what my name meant this morning, I turned white.
Then, a new Dana left me a voice mail at my grandmother’s rehab. And that is when I came here.
The death of Charlie Kirk (Charles) got me into seeking more. My mother, Carol (rooted from Charles) tried her whole life to get me involved with religion. Her name means “joy” where you get “caroling”.
My son Zachary, who pointed me to the bible – his name means “God remembers”. “His message was about restoration, rebuilding, repentance, and hope.” This is the chart he gave me which helped me start to navigate the bible
And the chills don’t stop.
The thing about music and art that I love is that while there can be literal meaning, often there can be many interpretations of the same thing seen by many people. And on the heels of the book of Job – leading me to grandma near me – to Michael – to “Ace of Bass”, I leave you with this:
“I saw the sign
And it opened up my eyes, I saw the sign
Life is demanding without understanding”
“I saw the sign
And it opened up my eyes, I saw the sign
No one’s gonna drag you up to get into the light where you belong”
From Chat: There can be a deeper spiritual reading, though. Not because the band clearly wrote it as a Christian or religious song, but because the language is broad enough to support that interpretation. The song talks about getting a “new life,” being awakened, seeing a sign, and becoming unbound from something unhealthy.
Andrew and Peter were fishermen from Bethsaida/Galilee. Jesus called them to become “fishers of men.” My middle name is Andrew, and my last name is Fisher.
This past weekend, my father-in-law gifted me with a welder from a man he considered another son, named Andrew. My brother-in-law is named Andrew – and when talking with my mother in law – they essentially had three sons, none of their own. One married to a daughter (my middle name), one with another daughter for 20 years, and one close like a son who recently passed.
The other person with me on the retreat in September when Charlie was killed with me was Andrew – who joined Matthew, Mark, and me. Another friend named Michael H came to visit. During my spiritual awakening. Spooky stuff 🙂
Andrew means “manly”, “courageous”, “masculine”, or “brave,” and in the Bible he is significant as one of Jesus’ first disciples, Peter’s brother, and a humble apostle who repeatedly helps bring people to Christ. Am I bringing people to Christ? Are the signs of Andrew in weird times a sign to draw you to Christ? I am most definitely not humble, and it’s one of the things I dislike the most about myself. Having been overlooked most of my life – you want to matter and be important and useful to others. You want your voice heard and your authority understood – and your expertise valued and appreciated. Often, I come off wrong. Trying to fit in has always been difficult – and my strength in life has been able to see the future based on my wild and crazy amounts of interests – and my “severe” OCD and hyperfocus ADHD has been a gift of gifts to understand things at deep levels people could not fathom. I fit in extremely well with people who live to share and build out – and prove ideas.
I have trouble fitting in with people who, rather than lean into what I’m saying, speak ill of me and challenge my intellect. Part of this journey I’m on is to let go of a lot of that, and lean into those who love to share ideas, and just let those who are skeptics understand I speak out of love and wisdom to help them. Part of this is understanding how to turn the other cheek, so to speak. Improve yourself by trying to understand how to handle situations that may cause anger or ego to surface.
I believe the signs are showing me the path.
May 5, 2026 at 9:51 pm
I can see how meaningful this journey has been for you, and it genuinely comes through in your writing. What stands out most isn’t just the shift in what you believe, but how it’s shaping what you want to *do*—to help others, to share something that feels important and transformative. That instinct, to turn inward change into outward care, is a good and admirable one.
I also want to acknowledge something more personal. I saw what you went through back in 2008—not from the inside, but close enough to feel the weight of it. I tend to feel other people’s pain pretty deeply, and I remember how heavy that time was just watching it unfold, how it seemed to harden parts of you. Seeing where you are now, and the direction your heart is moving, makes that contrast meaningful in a way that’s hard to put into words.
There’s something else I’ve carried with me for a long time. When you found out I was gay, I didn’t know what to expect—but I braced for the worst. What I got instead was an email from you that affirmed your love for me, using words that I didn’t recognize my brother capable of. That led to months of conversations and getting to know each other – who we really were. You were there for me in a way like never before, and in a way, that’s when you redefined what it meant to be my big brother. Those words are still, to this day, the most meaningful I’ve ever received (not withstanding having vows read to me at my wedding – those were pretty meaningful and powerful of course :)), and I’ve always regretted not holding onto that email. That moment—so unexpected, so full of grace—was a clear expression of who you are at your core. And in a lot of ways, what I’m seeing in you now feels less like something entirely new and more like a rediscovery of that same part of you.
At the same time, I think there’s a quiet truth worth holding onto: not everyone is at the same place on their path. The things that feel clear and undeniable to you right now may not yet resonate with someone else—and that doesn’t mean they’re rejecting you, or even that they’re closed off. It may simply mean they’re in a different season of their own journey.
For me, I’ve always approached the world through a different lens. Even in something as simple as my name—“Justin,” rooted in *just*—I’ve spent most of my life trying to understand things in terms of fairness, balance, and making the world a little more equitable for everyone. I don’t feel a strong need to understand *why* everything is the way it is as much as I feel driven to shape things toward what feels fair and right. That perspective naturally influences how I see the world, including where I tend to land politically, but it’s simply the framework that makes the most sense to me.
When people react with skepticism or even mockery, it can feel personal, especially when your intent is to help. But often it’s less about you and more about where they are—what they’ve experienced, what they’re ready to hear, and what frameworks they’re still operating within.
There’s a kind of wisdom in offering what you’ve found without needing it to be received in a particular way. Sometimes the most effective form of helping isn’t persuasion, but presence—living out the change in a way that others can observe, question, and approach on their own terms when they’re ready.
If what you’ve found is real and enduring, it won’t depend on urgency or convincing others quickly. It will show itself over time, both in your life and in the quiet ways it reaches people when they’re ready.
So I’d encourage you to keep that desire to help—it’s one of the best parts of what I’m seeing in you. Just hold it with patience, and trust that people come to things when they’re ready, just as you did.