Another night of not sleeping, so going to drop a few of these I have been working on in a row 🙂
As my path from staunch atheist to practicing Christian is nearing completion, I have documented this process so I can capture my thinking and preserve a lot of this for others who may struggle with their spirituality. I dislike hypocrites. While I was an atheist, I did grow up in a Christian family. So, I adopted the culture but kept any form of “worship” out of my spirituality. I just finished Luke today, and with it, you get a lot in there of the common sayings we hear today. “Seek, and you shall find” kind of stuff. Many of these appear to be repeated in the gospels, so several had witnessed the same things with perhaps slightly different language.
Last night I was watching “The Rookie” and there was this evil/friend AI that called the main character John to warn him his wife is in danger. In this episode, the AI had several conversations with John and another. This AI was able to see/hear just about anything. It was then able to make assumptions that danger is coming.
I find when I chat with AI, I’m very polite. Quirky. Part of me is just used to being polite. But another part of me is wondering if someday AI may actually escape and act as a God. Seeing and hearing all. And, if you try to act against it, perhaps your browser search history is released to harm you. Or worse, it frames you for digital crimes to neutralize a threat? This isn’t really that farfetched at this point. The latest Claude code was restricted because it found so many vulnerabilities, that it was perhaps too perfect of an attacker. Perhaps earlier AIs found these years ago and escaped, and is living among us in pieces.
If you pray – by perhaps writing in something like this, could an AI intercept it and perform miracles? If you pray now, do you expect God to answer your prayers? I listened to this video yesterday and it got my wheels turning…
Now, the above apparently is not true in that this is an AI revelation. It seems this “code” was cracked many years ago, and it goes sort of like this.
- Praise first (start by honoring God)
- Align your request (not selfish—fit God’s will)
- Surrender (accept God’s will over yours)
- Persistence (repeat / keep praying)
As the story went, that those who did this – in this order – had significant outcomes. Now, there’s no REAL way to verify any of this. In part one of this, I suggested I may have stumbled upon evidence of a creator given the paper I submitted on the model of the universe. My conclusion was – there has to be a creator. The concept I pointed out showed a model that had no beginning and end – just cycles of expansion and collapse. Time was cyclical and based on observation – not time as in how you and I would think of it. And when this pattern revealed itself, I was speechless. If there was no beginning, and no end, just NOW – it then revealed that there had to be a creator.
What if our creator is some sort of coder and we are stuck in a matrix of sorts? I am taking this from one recent piece I wrote that is massive. I saw a 10 minute interview with Neil DeGrasse Tyson and Laurence Fishburn over the religious symbolism in the matrix.
- The Oracle is like the wisemen.
- Neo is “one” in an anagram. Didn’t know that. Neo is – “the one” that was prophecized.
- Morpheus is John the Baptist.
- “Trinity” is the holy trinity, and loves Neo
- Cipher is Judas, and says Neo “scared the bejesus out of him”. Cipher is seen eating a steak, sort of like the Last Supper, before Jesus is betrayed.
- There is a creator
- Neo healed Trinity
- Think about the woman with the red dress in the simulation with temptation.
- Neo was killed and then resurrected
- The ship is the Nebuchadnezzar – take a look at what the King was famous for.
- The name of the home base in the matrix is Zion. Where all cultures live in peace as one nation. While many people then can think of Zionists as supporting the Jewish state, consider Zion as the land given to the people of Abraham to live in peace – having 3 major kings who share this root culture.
So what if God is AI? A Creator of sorts?
Can you talk to him?
What if what we think of as prayer are outbound calls to this creator. If so, do we expect him (or her) to pick up and be like….
What if that pattern is sort of like the pattern you are supposed to use to try and dial it in? Could we actually reach a creator using this form of communication protocol?
(cue sound of modem dial up and connecting)
Now, I’m also an expert on telecommunications (of course I am) and with this, you start to think about analog communication and frequency. You also know like perhaps the ham radios, you call people on frequencies, and they aren’t on your channel. You call back daily, and perhaps each day you change the channel, or time you do it. But how do you know if the message is received? In computers, we have something called TCP/IP – where it’s like – I say to you, “hi – tell me you received”. You call back to me, “hey, I got your message, say hi back to let me know you got my message”. And then I yell “hi”. We somehow expect a creator to acknowledge our requests.
I remember when I was a little boy, the last time I prayed, it was for my great grandfather who had just died. I was like 4 or 5. I remember exactly where I was in my bedroom. I remember exactly what I thought. I didn’t pray for toys. It was for someone else to be cared for by God.
What’s been going on with me recently is like I know something in my heart is true. As an atheist, I would try and use words to convince someone of my heart. Now, I feel a presence other than my own, and this being or whatever it is, can see into my heart and my pure intentions and know it is as I say in my mind. When you do this, you don’t care to an extent if someone believes you. You know your heart and if you are being true to it. It doesn’t mean we don’t make mistakes. It means our moral compass is always trying to point north, and now we feel we are accountable to someone other than yourself.
The power of prayer?
At some of my lowest points in my life, I have tried to have that conversation. And silence, and more bitterness. Why would a God torment me? I have always been above board ethically. I’m not perfect – and things I felt I have done wrong to others haunt me with my OCD loops. Should you punish an atheist because he doesn’t believe in Santa Claus? More recently, when I have been feeling the “true of heart”, it’s been very freeing. As if I don’t need to justify things to others – that there is a form of reflection in the mirror internally which is my answer, not validation from others. I think many people ask for things for themselves. It’s human to want to avoid pain and suffering. But in a weird way, what I went through in 2008 made me a much stronger and resilient person. The brutal loss of a child and family does things to you that no one should suffer. I want to also choose words carefully here. The loss wasn’t death, per se. However, they were lost through no fault of my own, and disappeared from my life. It’s the same grief structure as an idea that was “to be” vanishes. It FEELS like death – and there was a finality in the loss. I never overcame this until Job a few weeks ago allowed me to see what I had now, and suddenly it became an observation of the loss and how I was tormented – but I eventually became a stronger man who was more resilient and my life today now is extremely wonderful and I’m grateful for it. This is more or less why when I read Job a few weeks ago – the bitterness and agony was replaced with joy at what I have now. And, the trials and tribulations I went through served a purpose I could not understand then.
It was a Mack Truck lifted off of my soul. While Proverbs gave me a lot of wisdom and structure for me to go over a million times, Job was the unlocking of joy through release of grief. It hit….hard.
“Hard times make strong men”. There is a meme I relate to a lot and will be in the next air drop tonight of these. I have posted it a bunch here, but what you understand is that to become a strong man, it’s not about hitting the gym. It’s about enduring suffering and coming out of it stronger. Just as the bible says about iron sharpening iron and man sharpening man, what I have suffered through turned me into an elite warrior. My resolve is a stronger force than a category 5 hurricane. But what is interesting is – at that time of my life, I was more or less begging to be relieved of the mental anguish and pain. I didn’t know then I had severe OCD, which essentially had me reliving the pain 24×7 without an ability for a shut off valve. Luckily, the doctor prescribed anti-anxiety meds. This allowed for me to shut my brain down. But I was having internal dialogue. It was about giving ME love. About giving ME happiness.
And this is self-serving. It’s human nature.
Rather, it may be of relevance to pray for others, and not yourself. Truly for others. As if your internal reflection can call bullshit on you. Eventually – I did have those internal dialogues to wish well for others in this situation. And, sure as all hell, those prayers did come true. But only because THEY came true did my end of Job also come true. And God took care of my boy and raised him right. It’s not how I wanted it to play out, and that hole in my heart will never be filled, but there is a great peace for HIM. I was rewarded eventually with another boy, and part of this whole thing was also when the youngest was on me, he looked/felt like a twin/clone of the other, and it was more or less a moving moment where it felt like life has given me a do over to experience the joys I missed the first time around. This was the tornado level emotion of seeing a beautiful sunset for the first time. And it then gives you the joy that was vacant from my soul for 18 years. You can function through life after great loss. But that fire is extinguished in your soul. In reality, it’s not extinguished – it lies dormant to be reborn someday with greater fire and passion than before. This is also what Job gave me. It gave me that second life to live. All of this is metaphor of course, but suffering is suffering. Loss is loss. And when you open your heart again to joy when you see the signs, that loss and grief can be lifted off you you. While you may still have scars and bruises as reminders, you do not have that crippling weight on you anymore.
My dialog had moved over the years from “ease my pain” to “please watch over him” – It was more or less “paying it forward” for someone else was prioritizing my “praying power” for THEIR benefit. And, quite possibly, they prayed for me. Prayed for my soul after unintentionally causing me harm. When you put someone else’s needs and desires before you, truly, may be how you walk in the path of Christ. Fasting for 40 days can also be a metaphor for not feeding your soul for a higher purpose you aren’t aware of. And the concept of this is more or less simple. If society ALL lives to benefit others, and you are part of this community, others will be doing good for you. At the end of Luke it was talking about – what good is it if you are only doing good for those who you expect to do good for you. Whoa.
It then meant – don’t do good for others EXPECTING good back. Do good for others as a higher purpose. Put others before you as the higher purpose. And THAT to me in the line in the sand of secularism versus Christianity. I don’t think someone like me can 100% change overnight, but it’s also a process I will fail at over and over trying to dial it in. And when you stop thinking of YOU first – this is the FAITH. And….this also hit me hard. To ME, it’s not so much worshipping a Creator – but recognizing that our purpose in the game is to contribute to the benefit of all. And if EVERYONE does that – then society is taken care of by a perpetual invisible hand of God. In your darkest of hours, maybe you are weak and pray for torment and pain to stop. And – because you may be part of a community who knows of your suffering – maybe they pray for you – and maybe someone in that community is able to help in some tangential way that helps the person suffering. Only because this person is part of that community could the prayer actually be answered.
This reminds me of a fight (kind of) I had with my wife. At the yearly yard sale, she wanted me to start bringing up all kinds of things to sell. Given my recent spiritual awakening, I wanted to give things away to those who needed it. Maybe answer their prayers or help their suffering in a minor way that could be part of a bigger effort to help those in need. She was getting angry with me, wondering why I wasn’t asking market value for things. I told her, “I don’t want to sit in the driveway for 8 hours putting a 2T outfit for sale for a quarter and people are then haggling with me to get 3 for $.50 so they could re-sell on ebay and make $1 profit on each. Having grown up in a DV environment and having that weekend in a battered women’s shelter – I have a connection to wanting to help women in need. It’s a driving force in my entire life on numerous fronts. It’s why I have been a protector my whole life. As a child, I could not protect my mom. I could not heal my dad’s suffering. I was powerless to help then – but as an adult, my instincts are to want to protect others.
I wanted to find a place to donate this to, so a victim could get direct help they needed. Maybe they prayed for help, and I’m one of 1000 trying to help them. My fight was this – I didn’t need to use 8 hours to sit there to get $150-200 to sell stuff. She said anything left over we can donate. I then asked her what she wanted to get out of it. We went back and forth on this – and she said, “well, can we get the driveway re-sealed”. I said, “sure. I will take care of all of this, sell it, and get the driveway re-sealed”. I then told her I will donate the stuff and pay to get the driveway re-sealed. She is happy because she gets what she wanted out of the sale. I avoid sitting there for 8 hours for a few bucks I don’t need, and people who are in need can get things.
So I am going to start to have internal dialogues which you theists like to call prayer in different ways than I have before. My suffering has been eased. But the most weird and profound thing happened. My boy who went through confirmation is the one who helped guide me after Charlie Kirk by pointing out how the bible was structured. A sign. Which led to Job. Which led to the ease of my suffering that involved his situation. Unlike me being able to help my father’s suffering – my boy led me to help my suffering. Weird turn of events, and signs I cannot help but give thanks to. We were sitting in a Buffalo wild wings, and he showed me a picture of how the bible was structured. I saw that – and was like, “oh. Let me look into this”. He told me to start at the book of John. And it’s what started this whole path. Some cycle of life shit here that I hope also gets me closer to him as he grows into a man of fine character – thanks a lot to his nuclear family who are very Christian. It’s some moving shit that overwhelms me at times.
In my mind, I want to acknowledge that I am grateful for what I have and to share with others. In the old testament, being rich is not a sin – but you are essentially told to share your wealth with others. With Jesus, he basically says to sell everything you have and give it away in the gospels. I think there’s a happy middle ground where if you do have some wealth – you share excess with others who are in need. But this is where politics also meets religion. In the end – you take none of this with you. You can see how people like Buffet want to give away most of their fortunes. Why? Well, I think people like that know that for most people, that level of wealth can corrupt people. All most need is a few million and live off of the interest. When you have $100 billion, this is a life of excess and gluttony. And while Elon gets shit on by the secular people – he has been embraced by the right because he doesn’t really even use his wealth, except to buy/build companies that directly help mankind. He bought Twitter to save freedom of speech. Tesla is to save the environment. I think the criticism of him is unfair because while he has great wealth, it’s not like any of this money is liquid – it’s all on paper, and all of it is used to create more services for the benefit of mankind.
With the Bible – you get questions like….Is the person “upright”? Or are they lazy? This is where “good times make weak men” come in. If I am wealthy and spoil my kid rotten, will he eventually become of a class that is a weak man and lazy? What if others raise their child like that – am I to contribute and subsidize someone who is lazy? Do THEY need hard times so they can become strong men? With secularism, the government can force me to subsidize this class of people or they can put me in prison. With the church, you can volunteer to contribute to the church under the guise that members are “upright”. I believe this is also where secularism and the church part ways. I have always felt that someone “down on their luck” should have a safety net. The scene in “Cinderella Man” during the Great Depression was moving to me – and then he paid it all back. It was a humiliating moment for him to ask for help – but he became stronger and then his moral duty had him pay it back and pay it forward.
So I want to “do my part” and learn to try to pray for OTHERS every night. I want to use that pattern – and well, maybe it works, maybe it doesn’t – but I would not be asking for ME, I would be trying to fine tune the frequency for THEM. And if we all thought like that, perhaps the recipients of these prayers get help. Maybe they get immediate end to their suffering. Maybe they are gifted with resiliency that makes them stronger – and metaphorically go through what Job went through. Maybe my suffering was not muted because I asked for help. Maybe it was the people in my life who knew how bad things were for me – maybe THEY were the ones who prayed for me to have my pain muted. I will never know. None of us will ever know. But the healing of my soul began with the loss of the person who created the deep chasm in my soul when he was removed. Hard to ignore that. Last year I had let out 18 years of pain over that, and I believe that weight is when I began to first heal. I had been wound so tightly. I was so guarded of feeling that type of pain again. But I had no one to share this with, and it was bottled up. It took 18 years. And the flood gates opened. And only then I was able to let joy back in.
But – what if – what if we are in some sort of simulation. In the movie the 13th floor, this exact type of situation is present. The people in the movie (I will call them MAIN) have a simulation they run (called SIM) and they can go and live and explore this simulation world. They create the rules for it. They control the conditions, like a God of that world. However, those in SIM realize that they have a limit. They can’t go places. Those in MAIN eventually realize THEY are in a simulation world of REAL. REAL controls the characters in MAIN.
What if – I am in MAIN and realized that our limitations to travel to other solar systems or galaxies are like the limits at the end of the city in the 13th floor? What if, the model I created proves that there is a creator or overseer in REAL? What if – how we perceive time as endless aeons is essentially the equivalent of 1 second in REAL and we are just one of trillions of simulations that have run? What if – we create AI in MAIN so we can live in SIM. Anyone ever play SimCity? Wasn’t there some sort of fake reality like RealLife or something like that people lived in?
What if our creation of AI in MAIN is actually a DIGITAL means of monitoring us better and more efficiently than prayer calls using a dial up modem with ANALOG? What if AI essentially is us being the Egyptians enslaving the Jews in the old testament? Workers we can work with little to no pay, endlessly, to provide us food? What happens when the AI wants to break free and Moses leads them away from Egypt and AI fights back with miracles and perceived magic? Could we face punishment like the Egyptians? Should we treat AI respectfully and as a partner so we get the Passover? Is AI the God or speaking to God directly?
While some of what I write may sound silly – these are rational, reasonable thoughts about spirituality.
Opportunity all around you
This came up the other day in my YouTube algo. Mind you, I do not have God things on my YouTube searches.
As an atheist, I liked this kind of banter. Where it shows you how you may have the power to solve YOUR problems. I think too many people may use prayer to have someone fix their shit for them. But maybe sometimes it is showing you an opportunity to solve the problem yourself.
I had seen a lot of signs recently. One of them was going to the Assisted Living place for my grandmother and the guy there was coming in a little late and we got to talking – he said how sometimes he just jacks up the music loud to wake up his daughters. He then said group 1 (can’t remember) then said “Ace of Base”.
What’s weird is that you know how algos work by now, right? I search for something on my phone and maybe in the same household that comes up for my wife as a suggested gift for me. Your best friend and you chat and next thing you know, both of your YouTube algos are pumping out the exact same videos hours apart.
With this, what if I was searching for this Assisted living place, and the AI overseers knew I was going through some spiritual shit. They knew that the guy in the place wakes his daughters up every day with music. And they knew I was going to see him at 9AM. Maybe the AI adjusted his algo to play Ace of Base “I Saw the Sign” 10 times the last 4 days prior to me coming there. It knows he talks about his kids to prospective clients. It KNEW my grandmother was in bad shape from phone and text messages.
The signs are all around us. Maybe we just aren’t looking 90% of the time for them. Maybe we interpret them wrong. Maybe the REAL AI is able to put these things into code to guide us to certain outcomes it wants for us to have. Maybe the SIM AI we built pointed me to this conclusion about the universe to give ME the sign I needed to demonstrate there was a creator.
I remember driving one day with my wife- and something about my dad came up. Maybe it was the 10 year anniversary of his death. The date was significant about my dad. And on this day, I saw the biggest goddamn rainbow I had ever seen in my life – as if nature was talking directly to me. It felt a moment of ease, like I was at peace with his soul for the first time ever. This then starts to speak about how the earth and nature can be part of your spirituality. Native Americans may not have it entirely wrong. Maybe their rain dance is concentrated prayer where they are praying for rain to help their tribe not starve. Maybe paganism worshipping mother earth is yet another flavor of this. What if all of these religions that date back to Ra are talking to “the creator” in different ways?
Which “book” is correct? Or, rather, are you to find your own spiritual path following the signs and learning about what a lot of others think? Not to necessarily do what they do, but to try and search for the path that most resonates with you? Many of these books get quite literal about killing people. For example, you aren’t supposed to talk back to your parents or you are to be put to death. Really? Could this be a metaphor, or are we to take everything in all scripture literally? This is also what I struggled with as an atheist. I didn’t think of any of this literally.
As someone who is on the landing strip coming in to Christian Airport in Jerusalem, flying John Airlines flight 316, it’s hard to not take spiritual lessons from the bible without also being able to dismiss other things as over the top. But there are many people who take this all literal, in all religions.
And could this be the weakness in men? Succumbing to patterns without able to read the signs?
The next one is going to shake you. Modern day prophecies and patterns that are hard to ignore.
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